Thursday, December 27, 2007 ~ The best holiday in years

ust a few days after Christmas, 1999, my grandfather passed away from congestive heart failure. Since then, none of the last Holidays have felt right. From Easter to Thanksgiving, and, of course, Christmas. I moved away from my parents that next year after marrying my (now) ex-h, Although I was married to him, I never felt like a "part" of his family. Even after having BeanSprout, I could never fully recapture that family holiday feeling.

Last year was chillas' and mine's first Christmas together. Even though we had BeanSprout, and spent it with his family, I still felt like an outsider. I wasn't sure where BeanSprout and I fit into the dynamic yet. We had just gotten engaged at Thanksgiving. It's not that we didn't like each other, or didn't get along or anything. I just didn't feel quite, well, a "part" of them yet. And of course I was worried about where the BeanSprout fit into all of this.

Then, this year, something magical happened...

chillas and I sent out Christmas cards to everyone this year, and we included a pic of the BeanSprout. Some people got one with him from this year's snopes meet. Others got that and a school picture. chillas' parents were in the second group. We went over to their place on Saturday to help put up the tree. While we were hanging out on the couch, waiting for his folks, chillas pointed to their entertainment center. His mom has a lot of her collection of Precious Moments figures up there. Up among the figures, for everyone to see, were BeanSprout's pictures. And his school pic was propped up on one called "There's Always Room for One More".

I have no words to describe the feeling that came over me at that moment. Other than to say that, besides crying some of the happiest tears ever, I suddenly realised I have a family again. Not just me, chillas and the BeanSprout, but chillas' family. I am not just chillas' fiance anymore. The BeanSprout is not just chillas' "little buddy". We are family. Fully and truly family. For the first time in seven years, I have a family again. Not the semi-forced family that some people get when they get married, but a true family. People that I genuinely love and care for, and know that they love and care for me and my son. I haven't felt this way since my grandparent's passed away. I couldn't imagine a better present for the holidays. Or any time for that matter.

I thank the DOYC above, (below, sideways), for this gift. It is one I will truly treasure forever...